My tire popped and I couldn’t find the tire iron or lug nut wrench or whatever to put on the mini-spare, so I had to walk to AutoZone to get one. Along the way, I went sightseeing and made a guide, so here is a walking tour.
Begin at the north end of Hyperion by the strip club and Trader Joes and proceed south toward sunset. On your way, note the following points of interest. Incidentally, I do not recommend taking the tour with an unwrapped tire iron in your hand (as I did on the return trip). People were scared. People walking their pit bulls were scared. I did stop by at Pinkberry with it though because I heard the owner likes to beat homeless guys with his.
1. Sofa king mansion mattress yard sale: the sofa king is sofa king awesome as are these gently used mattresses.
2. Bukowski Lamp and Jane Fonda Workout T-Shirt: note the ghost selfie. The lamp is a little kitsch (Pulp is not Bukowski’s better stuff) but I don’t know…Jane Fonda has got to be the ugliest sex symbol ever. How did she ever get so popular? Rad t-shirt though.
3. Fuck and suck park: free used condoms–and private camper shell suite for privacy. Party all night long.
4. Unmarked Grave: the mystery of the inhabitant is still an unsolved mystery. Walt Disney maybe? You?
5. Clash Mural: punk fanatic garage mural.
6. That Clown’s House: I found out where that clown you were looking for lives. Creepy. Just pure evil. Clowns. Watch it around here. I mean that unmarked grave is just yards away from this place.
7. Gold-digging Manikin At a Gas Station: speaking of creepy, I met this hot woman at the gas station…
8. Do not block driveway sign with the Dio stencil: everything is better with a Dio stencil.
9. Creepy motherfucking Mr. Big Tooth statue: from the dentist’s office, this would have scared the shit out of me as a kid. Even now, look at the eye–if that tooth isn’t tripping on blotter acid, I don’t know what to say.
10. Child molester in an ice cream truck. It was 5 in the afternoon during summer break and the guy was parked outside a middle school. Mobile Meth lab? Is there a way to eat a Popsicle that isn’t perverted?
11. Flower shop that names flowers after Cher’s Hairstyles. Personally, I think it’s a coded message as it changes multiple times per week, possibly a terrorist cell operating covertly under the guise of a hipster flower shop. All hipster locations should be under tight surveillance.
12. That Del Taco where the kid got shot.
13. Gray hell hound on the roof of AGC liquor and laundry: I don’t know what it’s guarding or doing there…. Unless it’s the top secret trash below. Or maybe it’s a drone dog. Silverlake is home to many canine species. Perfect way to blend in, except for being on the roof and being an apparition from hell.
14. Top Level Security Clearance Garbage Dumpster: seriously, there is weasels ripped my flesh razor wire all over the place and like 4 security cameras….all guarding a dumpster. You really have to wonder if it’s not some covert CIA operation keeping the flower shop under surveillance. Or a secret weapons of mass destruction lab. What else could warrant such a high level of garbage security?
Exploding Note Theory 